The Countdown T-minus 21 days until I leave corporate American and join the 29% of mothers who don’t work outside the home. Notice I didn’t say, “Moms who don’t work.” Because I know that being a SAHM is going to be a LOT of work. I was talking to my mom last night (who was a SAHM) and she asked if I was getting excited. Of course! I’ll get to spend my days with two of my most favorite people. She also mentioned how it’s “best for the boys if I stay home”. I wavered in my agreement and Momo stated, “Well you believe that, otherwise you wouldn’t be choosing to stay home.” I agreed. Reluctantly. But I don’t agree.
Sorry Mom, still love you.
This is the same reason why my (predominately) male coworkers have all accepted my resignation with ease. Over the year that I’ve worked with this team, almost all of them have put their foot in their mouth regarding this exact subject.
During a conversation with one manager, when he asked why I don’t work any weekends, he actually said, “I didn’t allow my wife to work; her job was to raise our boys”. As I tried to keep my face passive, I refrained from commenting.
Another said, “I was always proud that my wife raised our kids and not someone in a daycare.” Again, no comment.
The best one was a male manager, whose wife was a teacher before kids, she claimed she could tell a difference in the students whose mom’s stayed home with them, from the children whose mom didn’t. The students with SAHM were better students. This time I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I straight up call him out, “So what are you saying? My kids are going to be terrible in school because, hellooooo, I’m a working mom.” He realized what he had said and attempted to back peddle but there was no where to go. This same manager, said I was the best HR manager he’s worked with in his 30+ year career.
It’s not fair of anyone to say that it’s best for the children if one of the parents stays home. That’s not necessarily true for everyone. As my Google statistic above mentioned, only 29% of mom’s stay home. So we’re then suggesting that the other 71% of the children in the U.S. are not being raised right? That’s not fair.
Plenty of moms and dads work because they want to work. It’s their choice and it’s not always because they have to work. There are so many great daycare/schooling options and nannies have become a more affordable option for many families. Nanny-cams and background checks make for better hiring decisions. When both parents have a career there can be more expendable income which means great family vacations and memories and less stress and worry about how to pay the bills. What happened to the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child”. Remember?
If it had been my choice when my maternity leave was over, I miiiiight have still chosen to go back to work. I was really ready for some adult interaction and feeling like I was contributing to something big. I had been on bed rest for two months and then home with the boys for three and half months. I was ready to get out of the house.
The biggest reason I’ve elected to stay home is because we haven’t been able to balance the demands of our careers well and me staying home has become an option. Most importantly, I WANT to stay home and strengthen my relationship with the Nuggets. I will definitely go back to work, sooner than later. When that is, I don’t know.
So although I am very excited for this new SAHM gig, I’m not in agreement to say it’s the only way to “raise your kids right”. If that was the case, I’ve been doing it wrong up to this point and that’s not true at all. Just look at these boys! Our Memorial Day weekend was W E T. Stormy. Flooding. Dreary. We had a bunch of family over on Sunday and thank God, it let up for a bit. Enough for us to sit on the porch, catch up and the boys got to run around outside.
Due to the rain we’ve been taking them on basic chores with us. They run as loudly as possible through the grocery store. Our local Tom Thumb loves us. I hope. Big helpers. XOXO