thankful

F i v e

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My babies are not babies anymore.  They’re little boys.

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They’ve obviously been headed in this direction for some time now and many might argue they haven’t been babies in a long while.

But before I could still scoop them up, squeeze em and love all over them.  I could still hold them in my arms.  They both gave kisses willingly and snuggles were never enough.  Mommy could always “fix” the problem.  Both always looked to me (or The Hubs) for guidance and assurance.

Now they’re just so darn independent.  An opinionated.  And goofy.  They still love me.  Its just differently.  I know it will change again as they continue to get older, more mature, and “grown up”.

I also realize these are signs that we are doing something right.  Asserting their ability to do things on their own, make their own decisions and learn from it.  It still means they need me less and that’s a hard pill to swallow.

Corbin

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Corbin is 42′ tall and (has thankfully gained a few pounds since the tonsillectomy) weighs in at 36.4 lbs.  He still has his stunning blue eyes and sweet smirk.  Corbin still wakes up first, and entirely too early, but gives the reason that he needs to snuggle.  Sometimes it means he gets up more than once during the night.  He has agreed to “give up” sucking his thumb now that he is a big 5 year old but still loves his blankie fiercely.  He has a very outgoing personality and is always pretending he is something or somewhere but he has to get permission first – Mommy, can I pretend I am ________?

Corbin is not shy.   He will let you know how he feels, who pushed/stepped on his foot/didn’t play with him, who he doesn’t like, all usually within earshot of the other kid’s mom at after school pickup.  Sheesh.  I try to embrace it.  Kids are honest and Corbin is going to deliver you the truth.

 

Since starting at a montessori school Corbin has drifted towards math and enjoys those lessons.  Montessori schools use a lot of hands on objects to learn (i.e. counting beads, stacking blocks) and that is right up his alley.  Corbin is the pickiest eater.  He will like something one day and not the next, he love all typical kid food but he does like more meat options then average.  The only veggie that gets past his lips are corn and carrots – occasionally.

Weston

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Since day one, Weston has always been just a hair bigger than his brother.  Weston weighs in at 38 lbs and is 43.5″ tall.  Occasionally, I think my boys are tall (both are greater than the 75%) but then I see them next to a really tall kid!  Weston has the biggest smile and loves to laugh at Corbin (who loves to make him laugh). Weston has a mixed personality.  He can be very bossy and assertive at home but in social setting, he really needs Corbin to give him confidence.  We were camping a few months back and he was desperate to go play with the kids across the campground but would not go without Corbin.  Once he feels Corbin’s support and gets the courage up to go introduce himself, he’s off.  Sometimes to Corbin’s displeasure because he gets left behind.

Weston likes to please us more than not, especially when I’m on my last bit of patience.  Or when Corbin has made me cry (true story).  Weston is a pretty good eater but is not a fan of most meat choices.  He will eat an occasional meatball or piece of lunch meat and much prefers carbs (like his momma). Weston will still come to to mommy to “fix it”, whatever it is and I hope that doesn’t stop too soon.

Corbin and Weston filled our lives in a way I never knew they could.  The Hubs and I both badly wanted kids but there really is no way to understand how fulfilling children make life until you have them (whether it’s the old fashioned way or adoption or even gaining kids through a marriage).  It’s not always easy but the hard times are totally worth it.

We are an infertility “success” story.  What’s compelling is we were never really diagnosed with anything to make us infertile so it was an “unexplained infertility” which was heart wrenching.  It’s easy for me to look back and say, God planned it this way.  It was impossibly difficult to endure but it did work out perfect, according to His plan.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WESTON AND CORBIN!

XOXO

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Choked Up

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We took a trip last week to Wisconsin because one of my cousin’s got married. My family is incredibly special and we have so much fun when we get together. Which, since we’re in Texas, isn’t enough for me.

My grandparents are 90 years young and I don’t see them nearly enough so I soaked up the 5 days we were there.

The trip included a LOT of visiting with family members because it seemed like each day more people arrived into town. So most of our time in WI we just drifted from one family member’s house to the next to see who was there.


Saturday morning we loaded up the boys and got out of the house first thing, so I could take The Hubs and the boys to a park/swimming hole that I went to as a kid. In order to do this quickly, we kind of just bolted after breakfast before the day got away from us.

Iverson Park was exactly as I remembered it and, even though it was only 71° out side and the water was freezing, we were holding the boys back from wading into the water. We hit up the playground and the swings and then we decided to grab lunch, so I could get my hands on some fried cheese curds.


We went to another place I hold dear in my memory from my childhood visits to WI and ordered up lunch.

Halfway through our lunch, Corbin turned to Josh and opened his mouth. He looked like he was in pain. I said to The Hubs, something is wrong with him. Initially, we both thought he had something in his teeth, so Josh reached in and pulled out a half chewed piece of cantaloupe. Then I heard Corbin make a gargle noise and I realized he was choking.

I said that to Josh and he grabbed him and turned him over on his leg and started to pat him hard on the back. Just as we were told to do when we had our class before the boys were released from the NICU. I sat across from him in the booth and saw Corbin going blue. I stood up and started to panic. I jumped up and went to turn and run into the main part of the restaurant for help but I just yelled, “he’s not breathing“!! Then I remembered I recently read that after they’re over a year old you are supposed to perform abdominal thrusts/the Heimlich. So in my freak out, I snatched Corbin and did about three abdominal thrusts (if you want to call it that …I didn’t take the time to make sure my hand placement was correct) but he made a noise like he was trying to cry, so Josh told me to put him down. He reached into his mouth and pulled out a slightly rounded piece of cantaloupe. Corbin began to really cry at that point. Then he stopped and asked if he could eat a hotdog. He was totally fine.

We were not. I couldn’t stop shaking. Fire and EMT arrived because (Thank GOD) the restaurant employees called 911 immediately. They told me we did everything correctly and checked out Corbin’s lungs and oxygen saturation. He was chatting it up with them like nothing had happened.

We were still physically shaking.

I cut up the Nuggets’ food religiously. We cut their grapes in half and quarter their hot dogs. I’m diligent about the size of toys they play with to ensure they cant get anything into their mouths. I discourage giving them popcorn. Yet here we are on vacation and, although I had cut up the cheese curds, the mini corn dogs and French fries, I failed to cut up his fruit. I cut up Weston’s because he was sitting right next to me. I just thought that The Hubs or I would get to it before he started eating it.

I got to experience the scariest thing I’ve ever been through, in my life. And I don’t want to ever have to go through that EVER again. 

I balled my eyes out the second we left the restaurant. It’s still hard to shake. The Hubs and I both have had several break downs and I had to tell myself to stop thinking about the worst case senario we could have faced.  Because we had the best case senario. He’s completely fine.

Afterwards I thought, I have four aunts, six cousins and a future SIL that are all nurses, and another cousin in med school and none of them were with us. *#&((&%$)(

Thank the good Lord that we had a happy ending. The wedding proceeded beautifully and although I wasn’t quite in the mood to celebrate, we enjoyed ourselves.

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After a pretty long day of travel we arrived home with two incredibly tired kiddos and one I’m pretty sure is getting a cold.  Happens every. single. time. we travel.

The other interesting thing about this trip is I have been giving myself a hard time about being a “helicopter mom”.  You know, reading Scary Mommy blog (there is more than one) about ruining it for other moms or some bullshit.  It’s my kids and I’m going to be the BEST mom I know how to be and that means keeping my kids healthy, safe and alive.

Please remember all those educational messages to parents about chocking and water safety and all other “warnings” are taken seriously and educate yourself!

First Aid for Choking and CPR for Children over 12 YO

XOXO5E1F90B120FB20C197CC10E4FF74EF96

For The Record

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While talking with my bestie yesterday she asked a few questions about how/what we did with the boys at “X” age.  I couldn’t remember specifically and I thought I could go back through the blog to figure out when we did something.  I had a similar conversation with myself here.

Well I’m at it again.  I’m not posting/documenting enough these days.

So my babies are little toddlers.  Like, real little toddlers.  When Erin was over with Vivienne, who is two months, the Nuggets were S O big.  I had to go back and look at videos from when they were that age and it seriously made me cry.

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Awwwwww.  Alas, there is no going backwards. But real quick…2014

Christmas 2014

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So my Nuggets are two years and two months old and Christmas is going to RULE this year.

They love to destroy mess with our tree.  In all fairness of “toddlerhood” they aren’t all that bad with the tree.  Weston likes to pull the ornaments off (and throw it back at the tree to see if it’ll stick) and touch the lights.  We’ve had several time-out sessions about trying to unplug/plug the lights in though.  Corbin just touches for the most part.  There are no presents under the tree because neither will leave them alone.  #Understandable.

We visited Santa at the Parks of Arlington Mall and it was fantastic!  Well I thought it was.  The boys were kind of terrified of the sleigh ride experience.  Yep, this little trip was totally worth it because we got to talk to Shrek and Donkey on the Skype -phone, take an interactive flight school, “fly a sleigh”, build a ginger bread cookie and THEN we met Santa.  Totally worth the $11 for the picture.

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At least they’re not sobbing.

Developmentally

They are finally talking! Like putting-multiple-words-together-in-a-sentence kind of talking.  Weston hears everything we say and, like a little echo, says it back to us.  They both try to say anything we ask them to repeat, although it doesn’t always sound like the words.  They are trying though and that’s what is important.  The refer to both of themselves and each other as Wey-wey and Cor-cor.  Not always accurately.

Weston

After Thanksgiving, both boys came home with a cold.  Weston’s turned into a sinus infection so we were at the doctor.  He weighs 29 lbs and is 35.5″ tall.  He wears a 2T/3T, depending on the store.  West knows all of his colors and can almost count to five.  He is developing his independence daily.  Code for: he is in time out more often these days for not listening, hitting or throwing things.  Weston eats okay.  He isn’t into meat much unless it is ground (turkey/beef/chicken) and even then, it’s hit or miss.  He love broccoli with cheese which is a win in my book.  I still sneak veggies were ever I can and they both like almost all fruit.  He loooooooooves snacks.

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Weston is still sleeping well (except when sick) but is having a harder time falling asleep before nap/bedtime.  He’s not crying or getting upset but he takes anywhere for 40 minutes to an hour.  We’ve tried pushing bedtime back but he continues to need that wind down time.  It’s been this way, on and off, for a while now.  I’m not sure but I’m beginning to think that the (sacred) nap time might be too long.

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We also cut the tail off Weston’s monkey last month.  Have I already mentioned that?  What does that mean exactly….?  A friend of mine gave both boys a little monkey that holds on/attached to a lovey (tiny blanket).  Corbin found his thumb early on but Weston discovered the monkey.  He didn’t love on the lovey part but instead would suck on the tail.  He’s done this since we stopped swaddling them.  We would rotate the two monkeys and wash them as much as possible but it was still gross.  Daddy decided it was time to cut it off and I was terrified we’d have a very upset boy.  The Hubs told Weston that he bit it off.  He was slightly confused and would still search for it but he held up pretty well.  I also wonder if this is why he takes so much longer to go to sleep as we took away the way he soothes himself.

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Corbin

Corbin did not have to go to the doctor so the scale at home says he weighs 27.8 pounds and he is approximately the same height as West, so I’m going with about 35″ tall.  He could be the exact same height but it’s like herding cats to get them to stand still and/or next to one another so I don’t know for sure. Corbin is an even picker eater then I thought he could be.  He has pretty much a total aversion to meat unless it’s a hot dog (ugh).  He loves to dip things, is totally into snacks and is crazy about refried beans.  He also looooooves carrots. So thats a plus.

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Corbin is not quite as assertive as Weston but he still lets me know his dissatisfaction.  Usually by sobbing his eyes out, whereas his brother hits/throws/screams.  I have to tell myself constantly to be consistent because it’s SO much harder not to cave when he is SO sad.  The Hubs can barely take it.  He loses his mind a little bit when they get upset.

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Corbin is obsessed with his blankie and sucks his thumb.  I am starting to see the thumb taking a toll on his teeth.  He sucks his left thumb, off to the side of his mouth and the left front too is starting to stick out.  I also sucked my thumb as a kid and my teeth were terrible (I wore braces for 7 years).  I have no idea how we would start to break him of this habit anytime soon.  I think he’s still too little.  He sleeps awesome, with the exception of the occasional bad dream.  He will wake up crying but as soon as you go in, pat him on the back and reassure him that you are there, he goes right back to sleep.

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This weekend we have tickets to ride the North Pole Express in Grapevine and I am beyond excited.  The tickets go on sale in October and they are a hot commodity.  You have to buy them EARLY.  I barely got enough for all of us (Gramma Dee & Scott will be participating in the fun too).  I think I should actually watch the Polar Express movie to know what the whole thing is based around but I know the Nuggets are going to be absolutely delighted that they get to ride a choo-choo. 

This Christmas season we have already had so much fun crafting ornaments, attempts making a gingerbread house, destroying decorating the Christmas tree and shopping.  Let’s not talk about how that last one goes.

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We are truly blessed beyond measure and look forward to teaching the boys more about the reason for the season.

XOXO

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I’m Sorry.

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I’m not perfect.

Whhhhhhat? You think.

It’s true.

No, in all seriousness.  I feel like I owe a lot of people apologies.

The Lindsey that owes these apologies is the “pre-mommy Lindsey”. I knew, very shortly after having the boys, I would eat a LOT of crow.  I have always been pretty opinionated.  I felt that, it’s my opinion and I’m entitled to it, so whatevs.  My opinions or comments were never made in malicious ways or were ever intended to hurt anyone.  Isn’t there a country song with lyrics like, “the road to hell is paved in good intentions…”?

First, I’m sorry to any mom that uses, used or intends to use formula.  I never actually commented on anyone’s choice not to nurse (without knowing why) but I made sure to announce that I would do everything in my power to breastfeed.

Guess what? I did.  Annnnd the boys were still on formula.  After having children, I was welcomed into the world of mom’s that couldn’t nurse. And then the group of momma’s that accept and support you, regardless of how you provide nutrition to your baby. Formula or BF and more importantly regardless of the reasons for that choice.  I was so surprised that, even with all my conviction, I still couldn’t exclusively breastfeed.

Second, I’m sorry to co-sleeping parents.  I never said anything out loud to anyone who sleeps/slept with their kiddos in their bed but boy did I think it.  “How could they ever put their children in harms way like that?” “WHY?!?!” I read all the horror stories and even knew of someone (through someone) where the daddy rolled over on the infant and suffocated him.  Aside from how unbelievably, horribly tragic it was, I thought to myself, why would they even risk it!?!

Guess who slept (albeit, very uneasily) with the boys?  We did.  I was very nervous but we still did it.  I also learned many, many parents do as well.

I pretty much owe an apology to every woman out there that was a mom before me.  I just didn’t know yet.  I formed opinions and passed judgment (I know, I know) on something I really knew nothing about firsthand.  I might have read or learned things but you don’t truly know until you are parent. So, I’m sorry all mommies out there (pre-2013).  I now know you were doing everything you could, to do it all the best way you knew how, for your own children.

I hope if I put my apology out to the universe, I will be forgiven for the error of my ways and hopefully enlighten some “pre-mommy’s” to keep an open mind!!

XOXO

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Post Baby Body

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This post is so I can remember I’m actually saying this…

My post baby body is not terribly bad.

There are so many horror stories out there about how a baby ruins your body.  Don’t even Google “body after twins”.  It’s surprising to me how many people post incredibly honest pictures.  They didn’t give me any hope though.

Granted mine is still holding onto about 8 pounds but I’m not exactly working very hard to get rid of it.  I should. But I’m not.

I do my yoga.

I run (honestly, it happens once every 2 months…not exactly an exercise regimen). I’ve planned to go every night this week and it hasn’t happened yet!

I do squats, planks/crunches and push ups daily.

None of those things are my normal workout approach.

I wonder if me researching and viewing all the unflattering pics after those ladies had their babies, just helped me be more accepting of mine.

I’m thrilled that things, for the most part, are back to normal.  My normal that is.  Is there room for improvement? Absolutely.   Do I want to be healthy and set a good example for my kids? Yes.  Am I done beating myself up over not working out 6 5 4 any days of the week? Yes.

I went from this (I think this is actually around 8 months and 30+ pounds) back down to fit into three quarters of my old clothes.  I’ll take it! I still cry a little when something won’t zip though.

In other news…more importantly, we have more teeth!  Weston got another one on the bottom last weekend…

and Corbin’s first one has just barely popped through.  With fear of jinxing it….I’d say they’ve been really great teethers.  I know, I know, there is much more to come.

More Thanks to Give!

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My parental units came to town for the long weekend.  The main goal was to try and get the nursery put together and be ready for the Nuggets.  Additionally, give Josh some time away from caring for my every whim.

First, I wanted to thank my mom.  She finished up everything that was left to do in the nursery.  She washed more clothes/blankets/towels/sheets.  Organized the mess of the closet by putting things in order and just overall making it look nice.  She also did the shopping/returning of things that The Hubs really did not want to do.  Mom also brought food.  Lots of food.  She had frozen lasagna, enchiladas, taco soup and more.  She ensured everyone was fed all weekend long.  And probably most importantly, relieved The Hubs of this duty for three or so days.

Next to thank is my daddy.  He put together the pack and play (which was more challenging then it should have been), bouncy seats, rockers and hung the blinds in the nursery.  Again, all things removed from The Hubs to do list. 

Of course it was also nice just to have others to talk to, and since The Hubs had to work on Saturday, they were around for company. The Hubs was no slacker, he got my shelves up in the closet but he also got a bit of fun in with Daddy on the golf course.  We also hit up the pool for a few hours, BBQ-ed and overall enjoyed the day on Sunday. 

Our maternity pictures were scheduled with Brittany at B Faith Photography for Saturday evening but she is also expecting and was having some challenges, add in the super hot tempatures (103) and we didn’t feel it was safe for either of us.  So, pending Wednesday’s appointment, we’ve rescheduled for next weekend (in the morning with hopefully cooler temps).  Keep your fingers crossed that I’m still stable!!

If the babies were to come tomorrow, I’d feel 100% more confident in being prepared. I am this close to posting pics of the nursery for your viewing pleasure but I’d like to get the curtains up and the dresser/changing table is scheduled for delivery tomorrow! Almost done.