Wishful Thinking

I’m beginning to think I might be getting good at this whole blogging thing.

I also might be getting ahead of myself.

Week two is going splendidly — being new to the SAHM gig.  The Nuggets have their days. Days where they whine incessantly.  Days where they just want to sit in my lap and snuggle (OMG how was I missing days like this before??). Days where they don’t nap well and they are just plain terrors.  Days where they eat and days where they don’t (not surprising).  The game changer is that I’m here with them for each day.  It’s amaze-balls.

I read a lot of blogs.  I read them because it helps me feel like I’m winning at this whole mom thing.  Sometimes, I’m bad about comparing myself to them (to which I NEVER match up) and I have to stop myself because everyone presents their best foot forward (me included).  But my kids are loved and, more importantly, alive at the end of each day so I consider that a W I N.

I read blogs for entertainment.  Some of these bias are hilarious.  I might crack myself up but dang, I enjoy laughing at others.

I also read blogs for advice.  There are A LOT of people out there that had kids before me, believe it or not.  They have lots of good advice to offer.  Yes, I can obtain advice from friends and family but it’s also nice to seek out “one sided” advice.  Meaning, I can pretty much find someone who will validate me in what I thought was right/correct/the best way to blah blah blah.  Yes, I like it when the world wide web agrees with me.   In all seriousness though, sometimes I just need a confidence boost.

I have like 20 followers and thats okay.  I write my blog for me.  I L O V E that other people read it and like it (or even hate it) but it’s for me and as long as the world doesn’t end — as it does in every book I’ve been reading lately… I miiiiight be a bit into dystopia fiction recently — the Nuggets might even be able to go back and read about their beautiful, yet nuts, Mama.

By the way, have I told you they are F I N A L L Y calling me Mama!?!?!??!?!?!!!!! It’s glorious.

So even though I am not perfect, I’ve got a great grasp on what I want out of my blog and I’m getting pretty good at it.

Now for what you and I really want:

blog corbin

blog playground

blog stroller

blog daddy pool

I should work on getting in front of the camera more often.  You know you want to see this face.

Who said I was perfect? 🙂

XOXO

5E1F90B120FB20C197CC10E4FF74EF96

Advertisements

The Countdown

The Countdown T-minus 21 days until I leave corporate American and join the 29% of mothers who don’t work outside the home. Notice I didn’t say, “Moms who don’t work.” Because I know that being a SAHM is going to be a LOT of work. blog table I was talking to my mom last night (who was a SAHM) and she asked if I was getting excited. Of course! I’ll get to spend my days with two of my most favorite people. She also mentioned how it’s “best for the boys if I stay home”. I wavered in my agreement and Momo stated, “Well you believe that, otherwise you wouldn’t be choosing to stay home.” I agreed.   Reluctantly. But I don’t agree.

Sorry Mom, still love you.

This is the same reason why my (predominately) male coworkers have all accepted my resignation with ease. Over the year that I’ve worked with this team, almost all of them have put their foot in their mouth regarding this exact subject.

During a conversation with one manager, when he asked why I don’t work any weekends, he actually said, “I didn’t allow my wife to work; her job was to raise our boys”. As I tried to keep my face passive, I refrained from commenting.

Another said, “I was always proud that my wife raised our kids and not someone in a daycare.” Again, no comment.

The best one was a male manager, whose wife was a teacher before kids, she claimed she could tell a difference in the students whose mom’s stayed home with them, from the children whose mom didn’t.  The students with SAHM were better students.  This time I couldn’t keep my mouth shut.  I straight up call him out, “So what are you saying?  My kids are going to be terrible in school because, hellooooo, I’m a working mom.”  He realized what he had said and attempted to back peddle but there was no where to go.  This same manager, said I was the best HR manager he’s worked with in his 30+ year career.

It’s not fair of anyone to say that it’s best for the children if one of the parents stays home. That’s not necessarily true for everyone. As my Google statistic above mentioned, only 29% of mom’s stay home. So we’re then suggesting that the other 71% of the children in the U.S. are not being raised right? That’s not fair.

Plenty of moms and dads work because they want to work. It’s their choice and it’s not always because they have to work. There are so many great daycare/schooling options and nannies have become a more affordable option for many families. Nanny-cams and background checks make for better hiring decisions. When both parents have a career there can be more expendable income which means great family vacations and memories and less stress and worry about how to pay the bills. What happened to the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child”.  Remember?

If it had been my choice when my maternity leave was over, I miiiiight have still chosen to go back to work. I was really ready for some adult interaction and feeling like I was contributing to something big. I had been on bed rest for two months and then home with the boys for three and half months. I was ready to get out of the house.

The biggest reason I’ve elected to stay home is because we haven’t been able to balance the demands of our careers well and me staying home has become an option. Most importantly, I WANT to stay home and strengthen my relationship with the Nuggets. I will definitely go back to work, sooner than later. When that is, I don’t know.

So although I am very excited for this new SAHM gig, I’m not in agreement to say it’s the only way to “raise your kids right”. If that was the case, I’ve been doing it wrong up to this point and that’s not true at all. Just look at these boys! blog cheerios Our Memorial Day weekend was W E T. Stormy. Flooding. Dreary. We had a bunch of family over on Sunday and thank God, it let up for a bit. Enough for us to sit on the porch, catch up and the boys got to run around outside.

Due to the rain we’ve been taking them on basic chores with us. They run as loudly as possible through the grocery store.  Our local Tom Thumb loves us.  I hope. blog shopping1 blog shopping Big helpers. XOXO

5E1F90B120FB20C197CC10E4FF74EF96

MaMa

The Nuggets call me Daaaaaa.

Both of them can say Mama.  But no, they call me Daa.  The Hubs is Dada but I don’t get to be Mama.

It kind of hurts.  It is stupid. I know.

But they say “baa” for bath, “nana” for banana and “nigh-nigh” for night-night (obviously).

Why can’t I be Mama?

Weston says it clear as day.  But when I walk in the door he yells, Daaa!  I’m like, noooo I’m Mama!

At what age are they going to start addressing me as Mama?

It took forever to get to be a mommy, why won’t my children call me mommy?!

I’m totally overreacting.

This past weekend we went to an event called Art on the Greene.  It’s in Arlington but there were artists from all over that came to this event.    It was free and went on all weekend at the Richard Greene Park – in between our two big stadiums.  Globe Life/Rangers and Cowboys Stadium – I am still not okay with the whole AT&T deal…

We went towards the end on Sunday because that is when the weather finally cooperated and was nice.aotg blog IV

aotg blog II

aotg blog III  aotg blog

The Difference Between

Mom and Dad.

When The Hubs and I first got married, and lived together, there was a lot to work through.  Anyone who says the “honeymoon stage” lasts for the first few years of a relationship, is misrepresenting marriage in my book.

There were a lot of demands and concessions.  We both lived on our own (or with roommates) for years and then came together and shared everything, it was hard different.  At least if you didn’t like your roommate before, you could move out.  Not so much this time.  For better or worse.

I’d say it took us the first full year of living together to really get to a point where we didn’t argue about little things.  We worked through all of it and now we’re stronger than before.  I also compromise a lot more than I did previously.

Now as parents, we are working through a new dynamic in our relationship.

I think it’s harder for me because I always expect The Hubs to think the way I think.  And as we all know, “men are from Mars and women are from Venus”.  So that isn’t fair of me.

Why wouldn’t he want to spend every waking moment with The Nuggets?  I do.  Why doesn’t he feel guilty when he works late and arrives home after the boys are in bed?  I do.

I couldn’t understand him.  It frustrated me and made me resentful.

The Hubs is a great dad.  Fantastic.  He’s patient (most of the time), he loves them dearly and you can see The Nuggets are his pride a joy.

6aef5-boysdaddyfathersday

It wasn’t until The Hubs made a comment that, for some reason, put it in perspective for me.  Something just clicked.  Now I get it.  There is a big difference in Mom and Dad, and the roles that we play.  This is also why I would think it would be terrible hard to be a single parent.  I need to stop thinking that The Hubs should feel and think the way I do.

I feel like it makes sense now.

5E1F90B120FB20C197CC10E4FF74EF96

Try

Corbin is walking!

We are at my in laws house on Thanksgiving day and he just takes off!

He walks like a little Frankenstein with his little arms sticking straight out in front of him for balance.

He walked six weeks after Weston started walking. He is just shy of 14 months old.

Both boys were pulling themselves up on stuff around nine months, which I thought was pretty young. We thought walking would happen pretty early for these Nuggets but not exactly.

I started to worry that Cor wasn’t walking because his brother is a bit of a bull. No fears of falling, pushing, knocking things over for Weston. And that includes Corbin in his wake of distruction.

I think Corbin just didn’t want to fail. Weston had no problem taking a step and falling over. Corbin walked across the room pretty much the first time he let go of of my hand. Slightly wobbly but all the way across a room.

This is me to the T. I like to know I am good at something, or that I will be successful, before trying it. I think it’s a character flaw because it stops me from even trying some things. The Hubs is the opposite. He thinks he can do anything. Everything. Over the years witnessing The Hubs be successful at stuff that he has never done before, has inspired me to try new things.

Failure is a learning opportunity. I like to learn new things and in order to learn, I must first try.

I can only hope that Corbin learns that lesson sooner than I did (if he shares the same reservations that I did). Maybe he’ll even learn it from his twin brother.

I’m Sorry.

I’m not perfect.

Whhhhhhat? You think.

It’s true.

No, in all seriousness.  I feel like I owe a lot of people apologies.

The Lindsey that owes these apologies is the “pre-mommy Lindsey”. I knew, very shortly after having the boys, I would eat a LOT of crow.  I have always been pretty opinionated.  I felt that, it’s my opinion and I’m entitled to it, so whatevs.  My opinions or comments were never made in malicious ways or were ever intended to hurt anyone.  Isn’t there a country song with lyrics like, “the road to hell is paved in good intentions…”?

First, I’m sorry to any mom that uses, used or intends to use formula.  I never actually commented on anyone’s choice not to nurse (without knowing why) but I made sure to announce that I would do everything in my power to breastfeed.

Guess what? I did.  Annnnd the boys were still on formula.  After having children, I was welcomed into the world of mom’s that couldn’t nurse. And then the group of momma’s that accept and support you, regardless of how you provide nutrition to your baby. Formula or BF and more importantly regardless of the reasons for that choice.  I was so surprised that, even with all my conviction, I still couldn’t exclusively breastfeed.

Second, I’m sorry to co-sleeping parents.  I never said anything out loud to anyone who sleeps/slept with their kiddos in their bed but boy did I think it.  “How could they ever put their children in harms way like that?” “WHY?!?!” I read all the horror stories and even knew of someone (through someone) where the daddy rolled over on the infant and suffocated him.  Aside from how unbelievably, horribly tragic it was, I thought to myself, why would they even risk it!?!

Guess who slept (albeit, very uneasily) with the boys?  We did.  I was very nervous but we still did it.  I also learned many, many parents do as well.

I pretty much owe an apology to every woman out there that was a mom before me.  I just didn’t know yet.  I formed opinions and passed judgment (I know, I know) on something I really knew nothing about firsthand.  I might have read or learned things but you don’t truly know until you are parent. So, I’m sorry all mommies out there (pre-2013).  I now know you were doing everything you could, to do it all the best way you knew how, for your own children.

I hope if I put my apology out to the universe, I will be forgiven for the error of my ways and hopefully enlighten some “pre-mommy’s” to keep an open mind!!

XOXO

5E1F90B120FB20C197CC10E4FF74EF96

Making a Pediatrician Match

I am the worst person to write this post.

I’m not satisfied with the boys’ pediatrician.

She is a wonderful lady. And a long term doctor but a lot of the things she advises, I don’t agree with her.

First, she advised that we add cereal to one of the boy’s bottles.  He was a spitter but a happy spitter, so I was confused as to why she would recommend it.  Especially since I wanted to breastfeed exclusively and that dream was demolished…why would I be open to adding cereal to a two month old baby’s bottle?  Tons of research says not to:  1. babies cannot regulate the calories correctly 2. their bodies are not ready for solids (and cereal is a solid) at such a young age.  The Nugget’s only had BM’s like twice a week when they were that small (crazy right?) and I didn’t want to do anything that would potentially constipate them.

Second, her team advised that we start or continue the Hepatitis B vaccinations.  This is a big one for me.  Let me say first, I don’t care if you vaccinate your children or not.  What I chose, is my choice and what you chose is your choice.  What bothers me is the lack of education.  The doctor’s tell us “its routine” and we should comply.  For the most part, I believe modern (western) medicine has done outstanding things but it’s not the know all.  Mistakes a plenty have been made as well.  Ok…off subject.

In the hospital I was asked to sign off on giving the boys Hep B vaccines right after birth.  I asked why and the nurse said, “we just do”.  I worked in hospitals and know very little about the clinical side of things but I do know that Hep B is a blood born pathogen.  Meaning, only getting infected blood in my eyes, nose, mouth or open wound is how I can contract it.  So tell me why my fresh new baby would need this vaccine?  I declined the vaccine at the hospital.

When we were finally released from the NICU and saw our pediatrician she smiled at me when I asked why they would need a vaccine for a blood born pathogen.  She informed me that if the mother had it and the babies were born vaginal delivery, the baby would need it ASAP to prevent contraction.  Well my Nuggets were born C-section and I don’t have Hep B.  Why would this vaccine be offer to every single baby unnecessarily?  No bueno.

Lastly, she misdiagnosed Weston’s eczema as cradle cap.  He had both but cradle cap isn’t itchy.  My newborn baby was clawing at his head to the point where he would draw blood.  We, unknowingly, let this go on for way too long.  When I asked if we should see a dermatologist she was flippant.  In the end, we did see a specialist and got it under control.

I’m not a doctor.  I know being a doctor must be really hard these days.  With the internet diagnoses and know it all mom’s (eek) and malpractice lawyers…it makes it that much harder.  But I feel like we should connect or agree more often than not. My point is , if you don’t sync well regarding your children’s care you should find a new one.

Maybe my next post will be about how I found the best pediatrician ever.

Author

I read a lot of books.

When I was younger, I wanted to be an author.

Of what? Not sure, I just wanted to be a writer.

I went into college thinking I’d be an English major.  What would I do with that degree?  Unsure.  I just wanted to be good at writing.

My first English professor was a snob.  She was pretentious and, because she wrote for a small, unknown local magazine, she thought she was God’s gift to writing.  Teaching (more like failing) a bunch of entry-level college kids was her way of feeling good about herself.  I guess.  She tore me a new one. I went from high school, where I was every English teachers dream, to being the worst this lady had ever seen.  Or at least that’s how I felt.  At the end of that class I received a C.  She deflated my goals.

Quickly after English 101, I decided I might need a new major.  The following semester I decided to wait to take the other English pre-req and changed my major to business. Guess what?  When I did take the additional pre-requisition English class, I received a A++.  My professor loved me and my writing.  Although, I never went back.

Who knows where I’d be if I stuck out my English major.  An editor? A famous author? An English teacher?

Is my grammar perfect? Heck no.  Do I break rules for spelling, possessions, commas, plurals, punctuation etc.?  Probably.  Could I benefit from additional education? Yep.

As I said before, I read a lot of books.

Suspense, trashy romance, historical, mysteries, dystopia, all of it. Fiction is my forte.

Some of the books are great.  Really great.  But some make me think I could totally write a book.  Would it be a great book?  Not sure…

Maybe one day I’ll find out.

Mother’ Day

Wow.

My first Mom’s day under my belt.
We didn’t do anything special. Went to church. Thought about going to brunch but instead made a drive by…saw the lines of people waiting and decided breakfast at the house would be just fine.
The Hubs got me beautiful flowers.
And a card that was uber sweet. It said something along the lines of “you, and our family, are my happily ever after”.
Awwwe. So cute. Don’t gag at the mushy-ness.
No really. I cried.
The Nuggets. Well they’re my boys and nothing could be better than having them this year.
I can’t seem to put into words my emotion.
Shows my awesome writing skills.
I mean, just look at them…
Being a mom is something I always knew I wanted to be. I never stopped to think  that it would be anything except something that happened naturally…and exactly when, and how, I wanted it to occur.
In mother’s days past, I’ve been wished a “happy Mother’s Day” by cashiers or waiters and had to grin and bare it. Squeak out the word “thanks”, while tears threaten behind my eyes. Some people have the approach that Mothers Day is a day to celebrate all women but to me, (and I can have an opinion) it is truly a day to celebrate and appreciate moms.
I waited a long time to be called Mommy and therefore it’s hard to put into words how fantastic it feels to be able to celebrate Mother’s Day, as a mom.  (No the Nugs are not saying Ma-Ma yet.)

Now to the lady that helped make me the super-awesome-totally-talented-mom-wife-friend-woman I am today…

Mary Maureen Momo Margaret Pellatt Maltz
Don’t let her little stature trick you, she is a force to be wreck’n with. I love her. Thanks for all you’ve done and all the things you continue to do for me. Here is to a great Ma/Momo!!
Actually, here’s to all the Mom’s out there!!
Xoxo- Lindsey

30 weeks

No.

The Nuggets are seven months, come Friday.
WHY do some moms still speak in weeks throughout the child’s entire first year? I’m terrible at math so when I ask you how old your kiddo is and you answer in weeks, I give you a blank stare and say, “how many months is that?”.
The reason I’m posting about this is because I’m seriously looking for someone to give me an answer. Not that I get many comments but for real, WHY????

After the initial 12-16 weeks almost all literature and even the doctors start tracking in months. 
I wouldn’t know that the boys are 30 weeks unless I went back and actually counted (or cheat and look on this baby app I have).
The other weird part is, although the boys are about to be seven months (OMG!), the weeks don’t add up… 
4 (weeks in a mo) x 7 (months) is only 28 weeks…but they’re actually 30 weeks. I know, some months have more than 4 weeks. See why this is ultra confusing?!? 
Ok, end rant.
if anyone has an answer, please enlighten me.
Xoxo – Lindsey