The Difference Between

Mom and Dad.

When The Hubs and I first got married, and lived together, there was a lot to work through.  Anyone who says the “honeymoon stage” lasts for the first few years of a relationship, is misrepresenting marriage in my book.

There were a lot of demands and concessions.  We both lived on our own (or with roommates) for years and then came together and shared everything, it was hard different.  At least if you didn’t like your roommate before, you could move out.  Not so much this time.  For better or worse.

I’d say it took us the first full year of living together to really get to a point where we didn’t argue about little things.  We worked through all of it and now we’re stronger than before.  I also compromise a lot more than I did previously.

Now as parents, we are working through a new dynamic in our relationship.

I think it’s harder for me because I always expect The Hubs to think the way I think.  And as we all know, “men are from Mars and women are from Venus”.  So that isn’t fair of me.

Why wouldn’t he want to spend every waking moment with The Nuggets?  I do.  Why doesn’t he feel guilty when he works late and arrives home after the boys are in bed?  I do.

I couldn’t understand him.  It frustrated me and made me resentful.

The Hubs is a great dad.  Fantastic.  He’s patient (most of the time), he loves them dearly and you can see The Nuggets are his pride a joy.

6aef5-boysdaddyfathersday

It wasn’t until The Hubs made a comment that, for some reason, put it in perspective for me.  Something just clicked.  Now I get it.  There is a big difference in Mom and Dad, and the roles that we play.  This is also why I would think it would be terrible hard to be a single parent.  I need to stop thinking that The Hubs should feel and think the way I do.

I feel like it makes sense now.

5E1F90B120FB20C197CC10E4FF74EF96

I’m Sorry.

I’m not perfect.

Whhhhhhat? You think.

It’s true.

No, in all seriousness.  I feel like I owe a lot of people apologies.

The Lindsey that owes these apologies is the “pre-mommy Lindsey”. I knew, very shortly after having the boys, I would eat a LOT of crow.  I have always been pretty opinionated.  I felt that, it’s my opinion and I’m entitled to it, so whatevs.  My opinions or comments were never made in malicious ways or were ever intended to hurt anyone.  Isn’t there a country song with lyrics like, “the road to hell is paved in good intentions…”?

First, I’m sorry to any mom that uses, used or intends to use formula.  I never actually commented on anyone’s choice not to nurse (without knowing why) but I made sure to announce that I would do everything in my power to breastfeed.

Guess what? I did.  Annnnd the boys were still on formula.  After having children, I was welcomed into the world of mom’s that couldn’t nurse. And then the group of momma’s that accept and support you, regardless of how you provide nutrition to your baby. Formula or BF and more importantly regardless of the reasons for that choice.  I was so surprised that, even with all my conviction, I still couldn’t exclusively breastfeed.

Second, I’m sorry to co-sleeping parents.  I never said anything out loud to anyone who sleeps/slept with their kiddos in their bed but boy did I think it.  “How could they ever put their children in harms way like that?” “WHY?!?!” I read all the horror stories and even knew of someone (through someone) where the daddy rolled over on the infant and suffocated him.  Aside from how unbelievably, horribly tragic it was, I thought to myself, why would they even risk it!?!

Guess who slept (albeit, very uneasily) with the boys?  We did.  I was very nervous but we still did it.  I also learned many, many parents do as well.

I pretty much owe an apology to every woman out there that was a mom before me.  I just didn’t know yet.  I formed opinions and passed judgment (I know, I know) on something I really knew nothing about firsthand.  I might have read or learned things but you don’t truly know until you are parent. So, I’m sorry all mommies out there (pre-2013).  I now know you were doing everything you could, to do it all the best way you knew how, for your own children.

I hope if I put my apology out to the universe, I will be forgiven for the error of my ways and hopefully enlighten some “pre-mommy’s” to keep an open mind!!

XOXO

5E1F90B120FB20C197CC10E4FF74EF96

Peanut butter

Well, it’s official. We introduced peanut butter.

Everyone is safe and sound.
I am glad that is over with finally!

Some people say to wait until their two years old.  Others say, once they’ve passed their first birthday, you’re in the clear. One person recommended to go to the fire station and offer peanut butter onsite so if anything happens, emergency responders are nearby.

WOW.  My kitchen worked just fine.  I was very nervous though.

All I can say is, I’m so glad neither had a severe reaction.  My heart goes out to the mommies with children who are highly allergic to peanut butter.  I would worry.  All. The. Time.

At least if you know they are allergic, you are most likely prepared with an EpiPen.  Still, it would be tough to get a call while they are at school because someone accidentally offered them something with peanuts in it.  Ugh.

For other parents who haven’t crossed this bridge yet, here is a small tip that I received from a friend (adult) who is highly allergic (like cannot even be in a room) to peanuts: she recommended to take a peanut and rub it on the baby’s upper, under arm (their bicep).  She said that someone with a severe allergy would most likely have a reaction on the skin surface.  That sounds so much better than keeping my fingers crossed that their throats do not close up.  Anyways, I rubbed both boys, while The Hubs gave me a strange look thinking, “what is wrong with this woman…why is she rubbing peanuts on my children??”

There was zero skin reaction.

I then put peanut butter right in their face.  This time, The Nuggets were looking at me like, “stop teasing us crazy woman!”  No wheezing or coughing.  Note: in no way is that an approved way to check for a peanut allergy. I just thought it was a good idea.

Moving on….

Both Nuggets ate the peanut butter and jelly sandwich like it was going out of style.  And it is not.  My mom fed it to us by the ton.  And it’s still a delicious, and healthy, option for kiddos.

I also realized I forgot to share the smash cake cuteness.  All credit goes to B Faith Photography. Although I hope to start upping my photog skills and posting more of my own work.

Birthday boys cake.blog

birthday boys3.blog

birthday boys7.blog

Television + The Nuggets = Nada

I think I have been successful.

The Nuggets don’t watch TV.

It was my goal was to limit their TV to zilch.  I’d say I did pretty well.

They’ve been in the living room with the TV on (especially since football season started) but they aren’t really watching it.  They look at the screen for a minute and then move on to other things. Like climbing the fire-place. Or opening the cabinets. Or their personal fav, trying to turn the blue-cable-box-button on and off 9875768 times.  Especially during a nail-biting moment of the game.

I read a bunch on how TV under the age of two can be detrimental to development.  Of course it’s probably not as a big of a deal as it’s made out to be (as is most things regarding children…why do they try to scare us?).  But I took it to heart.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends that kids under 2 years old not watch any TV and that those older than 2 watch no more than 1 to 2 hours a day of quality programming.  The first 2 years of life are considered a critical time for brain development. TV and other electronic media can get in the way of exploring, playing, and interacting with parents and others, which encourages learning and healthy physical and social development.  Read more from the AAP here.

I, being the sleep Nazi queen, also read that it can affect their sleep.  SOLD.  No TV if it means it affects good sleep. Because good sleep means happy and healthy and smart babies. The Hubs agreed and supported me.  Was he upset during baseball season? Maybe.

Next, is the fact that I want to actually play and interact with my kids.  As full time working parents, we literally have 30-60 minutes with them in the morning and 90-120 minutes with them after work, during the week.  And a, way too short, 48 hours with them on Saturdays and Sundays.

Example: My nieces and nephews were in town.  We turned on Frozen (never seen it) and I was completely sucked in.  Did the boys watch? Nope.  Did Weston almost fall off the step because I wasn’t paying attention.  Yep.  Quality parenting right there.

To each their own on parenting styles and decisions made for their kiddies.  I am proud of sticking to my guns and actually preventing the boys from being sucking into the boob tube. XOXO Lindsey