2019

It’s that simple. 2019 is here and we’re well on our way. Almost half way!

I’ve finally been hired on full time. So the job I thought I would take for a three month temp job, fifteen months later, has turned into a truly amazing career opportunity. Believe it or not, I’m a bit nervous. Although I’ve been working for over a year, I always had that ability to walk away and not feel that I let anyone down or burned a bridge. Accepting a full time job is a real commitment. Every now and again (mostly on Monday mornings when I don’t want to get out of bed) I think, “should have I gone back to work so soon?” I get sad and think, “Am I missing out on too much with the boys again?”. I have a boss who is out of this world progressive and understanding. When her kids were little she was a SAHM who had 8582 side hustles to bring in extra money and she is beyond understanding and flexible. She is the SOLE reason this opportunity has presented itself.

I think, I am overall happier. It feels strange to admit that. Which is dumb because there are all kinds of different parenting styles and no one is doing it right or wrong, if their kids are taken care of and loved. The last 3-4 months that I was still home full time, I would fall into a black hole for 4-5 days EVERY MONTH and really struggle with finding happiness or even be content. I would not categorize myself as depressed but I would definitely get very, very blue. Which had an affect on everyone, but The Hubs most definitely had to deal with the unjustified anger and not understood tears the most.

The boys are in a great school program and they are growing up. They cannot just sit around the house playing with legos all day every day, they’d go crazy, as would I. They will be FAR more prepared for kinder than not and that is right around the corner (eek!). So if I hadn’t taken this opportunity when I did, what would I do when kinder started? I’d be looking for a job. And I strongly doubt I would be so lucky to find this role. I stayed home with them for almost two and a half years and for the most part, I really loved it. Towards the end I started to feel like I wasn’t doing or contributing enough.

But as we get closer to the summer, I am bummed because I want them to have fun and not be stuck in a full time summer program. Here comes the mom guilt as I think about their school/summer lives for the next 12 years. Enter Momo. My mom has graciously accepted to come stay with us during the summer and bus the boys around. There are several weeks where they have nothing scheduled and lots of weeks with summer camps. MBS (our old mother’s day out program), vacation bible study and art camps. We will squeeze in a vacation to WI for my cousin’s weddings (this time we plan to not have a choking accident), camping adventures and few other trips in the works. It should be a great summer after all!

I almost forgot we took a mini spring break vacation to San Antonio! We met my brother and his family and stayed at the Drury Inn on the riverwalk. That hotel is SO cool because it’s in the old Alamo National Bank building and there are so many touches of history throughout. We did Sea World one day and it was great because we were there two weeks after all of the Texas schools had spring break and we had the place to ourselves. This is also the last year there will be an orca show and since I grew up seeing Shamoo, I’m so grateful the boys got to experience it. We did all the touristy stuff and then some, had quality time at the hotel pools and really enjoyed ourselves.

I always hope to write more, as I love to and more than anything, I love the documentation I can go back and read and remember. The years are speeding by, I’ve got to do something to document it all.

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