Everyone always asks me, “are twins so hard?”
The answer is, actually no.
Now, I have nothing to compare it to, The Nuggets are my first. I don’t know how “easy” a singleton should be. ((I have friends (first time Mommies of singletons) that wouldn’t say easy is the right word.)) And if The Nuggets had been colicky babies, I might have a different answer…but then again a single colicky baby is challenging, let alone two…
What I find the most difficult, is that I’m a different kind of mom. I task myself with ensuring I give each of my Nuggets equal time/love. This means sometimes, I feel like neither get enough. I feel like only mommies of twins “get” what I’m referring to..
If it had been only one Nugget, I think I would have been much more “la leche” friendly. Meaning, I would have walked around, constantly feeding and “wearing” my baby. Not really possible with two. It was hard enough being banished to the couch with The Nugs, let alone wear/feed/walk/etc their every need.
I would love to rock them to (almost) sleep every nap and at bed time. Again, challenging with two. This is also hard for an outsider to grasp. My mom said to me, “I could never let my baby cry like that” once when I was letting Weston CIO. With no hard feelings, my mom never had twins. [Love ya madre.]
When I’m trying to make sure I am “equal” with my time, sometimes I feel less connected with my babies because I cannot be as “dedicated” to them, individually, as I thought I would be.
I think moms that have their babies super close together in age understand these challenges to a degree as well. I have a close friend that has a 2 YO and a 3 month old and the 2 YO is so much more demanding, so much so that the only quality time she says she gets with the NB is when she’s nursing.
There is a lot of guilt there. Making sure the most demanding child is taken care of is what ends up taking precedent. I share that guilt sometimes. I self inflict it often, but share it nonetheless.
The Nuggets will be 4 months at the end of this week.
They’re healthy. They’re happy. We love them as best we can (which is A LOT). I’ll say, with as smilie as The Nugs are, it has to be enough.