Love.

I posted about the love I have for my boys in the past. I posted back when they were barely a month old.

Now, at almost four months, my love has grown that much more. Will it continue to grow at the rate of their age? If so, my heart will burst!

Mushy a bit?

I also sat here last night and listen to The Hubs sing to Corbin in the bathtub. It’s moments like those I’m sure it will burst.

I blame this extra lovey dovey-ness on the fact that I’ve now returned to work.

I have very mixed emotions.

I am breathless at the thought of anything happening to one of them while I’m not there.

I’m sad to not be able to spend every one of their waking moments with them (for the most part).

But I’d be lying to say I’m not a tiny bit excited to be challenged, mentally, again. Or feel like I’m contributing, in an adult way, again. I’ve been back at work for almost two weeks. I walked into a huge auditing project (barf) that has required a lot of my time and energy.

Talk about getting thrown back into the mix.

I talked to a few of my coworkers who are also new mommies (within the last year) and they said things like:

“I loved coming back to work” and “I’m not cut out to be a stay at home mom”

Do they love their kiddos any less because they want to keep a career?

I think not!

Would I love to stay home? I think so. I’d be a better blogger, that’s for sure. I’d also be a Pinterest-making-project Queen. I’d work out. I’d cook. I’d clean. We’d get remodeling projects done.

I say I would do all of these things but who knows what would really happen. Could I do all that I say I would while taking care of the twins?

We would be living on a much tighter budget. Would we have money to be able to do things? I know vacations would be out of the question. Dinners out would be far and few between. Shopping for clothes…what’s that? Doctor’s bills…uh oh, that would set us back. Would me not working create a hardship that would make life more stressful?

All of these things were taken into consideration when I decided to return to work.

These past two weeks haven’t been so bad. We have a nanny that comes to the house each morning, which is amazing. Trying to load the boys up and take them to daycare sounds impossible. Plus, we get to avoid all the germs and illnesses!

When I get home, I’m that much more excited to see the Nuggets. There are days I can work from home and steal kisses whenever I want.

To each his own regarding being a mommy and having a career but at this time, in our lives, I will learn to juggle both.