Yesterday was the big day. Dr. Le was very positive and hopeful, as are the Allen’s.
|These are the lil embryos that were placed|
The embryologist came in and told us that they both looked beautiful. The lil one on the left was a 4BB and the one on the right was 5CA. You and I were thinking the exact same thing…what the ???? So she explain after The Hubs looked at her like she was an alien and said, “uhhhh what’s that mean exactly?”
It’s the ranking of how good/far along the embryos are at the time of placement. The number is how far along in the stage it is, 1 being not far along at all and 6 being the egg is hatching. (Yep, we humans hatch our eggs too.) So 4 and 5 were really ideal. The two letters are harder to explain and I’m not going to try except that DD is really not good and AA is the best. Again, our’s were pretty ideal. We also have 7 other embryos that are being frozen.
The rest is kinda history. Dr. Le said again, “I expect you to get pregnant” he also added “otherwise I don’t know what to do, everything we’ve done in this IVF cycle has been just right“. That is both encouraging and slightly worrisome <– except I'm not worrying (huuuuummmmmm). He showed us a picture that a previous patient gave him and it was the picture of a 3DD embryo that was hers. Next to the pic of the embryo was a pic of an incredibly cute newborn. Dr. Le told us we would never have recommended placing that embryo but it was her only one and her last option. Miracle.
I’ve spent quite a bit of time reading the Life blog over the past year and I feel that it really puts things into perspective for me. And it says a LOT of things I need to hear. I seriously read the posts over and over again. I keep thinking I’ll permanently change the way I view things (that’s the goal). I digress. What I feel is a common theme throughout their philosophy, is something along the lines of, it’s okay to fail. It’s okay when things don’t work out. It’s more important to focus on what you do after the failure/disappointment,etc. Whatever failures happen in your life, only set you on the path to success in another way. I’ve come to peace with the fact that IVF was what we’ve been faced with on our path. It became our only option and all the other years of trying to conceive got me to this point. I’m stronger because of them and need to embrace that the past cannot be changed and the future cannot be controlled, I’m just along for the journey.
Which brings me to the fact that I’m trying so hard not to worry now because, what can I do about it? Nothing. It’s done. It’s God’s work and always has been. This is really how I need to approach things more often. I’m a totally worry wart – of the worst kind.
Lastly, I pray that one, or both, of those lil eggs hatch and stick and I’m granted with carrying a child(ren) that I’ve wanted my whole life. If not, I will most definitely be very very sad but the aforementioned attitude will need to make a come back pretty quickly.
The waiting game until March 1st is going to be tough but I’m totally on the positive-thinking-train and although I’m aware failure is an option, I’m not focusing on it. At all.